certainly uncertain

i am certain that i am sitting on my couch, wearing my new beret, with gilmore girls playing in the background.

or am i?

i am. 

this is my reality. my own personal reality. my reality isn't the same as yours, yours isn't the same as mine. i have these positively puzzling experiences where i question my existence. what is existence? how do we know we're existing?

 what am i?

remove yourself from your current environment as much as possible, close your eyes, and think about your existence. i'm not sure if anyone else ever experiences this but, it always leaves me feeling utterly dumbfounded. 

if i stare at an object for too long, i get the same feeling. suddenly, whatever i am staring at becomes dull nothingness. 

if i had no beliefs what-so-ever, this is what i would feel like everyday. my beliefs right now vary, quite a bit. i know, for certain, that i cannot believe in the absence of a higher being. to believe in the total absence of a higher being would mean an acceptance of a meaningless life that will eventually just end, with nothing on the other side. 

our souls don't die with our bodies. when you go to sleep, your soul is still alive, you are still there. i like to think the same happens when you die.

i believe that each individual has different experiences that shape their belief system. your experiences are definitive. without certain experiences, my beliefs would not be the same. my beliefs don't have to be the same as yours, or yours the same as mine. 

don't force it on me.

...or anyone else in the living world for that matter. no matter how much you think it is your destiny to make me, or anyone else, believe exactly what you believe, it still won't change my experiences. 

people believe in christianity, judaism, islam, hinduism, buddhism, pluralism, universalist, confucianism, sikhism, jainism, sufism, taoism, shinto, caodaism, chondoism, yiguandao, sufism, babism, zoroastrianism, yazdanism, bahai faith, shamamism, and spiritism...just to name a few...

what if they were all the same. 

in the end.

what if they were all the same. 

god can be anything.

interpretations of interpretations of interpretations of religious books ruin the simplicity and beauty of religion.

a lot gets lost in translation and interpretation.

i yearn for oneness.