16 things

this was a chain (yeah, yeah, yeah) sent to me by cara. 

i ended up spending a lot more time on it than i had planned and i figured it was actually blog-worthy!

its 16 random things about me.

here goes...

1. I recently realized that I cannot read obituaries because i get frustrated not knowing how everyone died. morbid? maybe.
   
2.  Sometimes I enjoy a healthy fight or argument, it makes me feel alive and passionate.
   
3. A lot of times in social situations i feel out of place, even if its just 1 or 2 other people. Sometimes i never feel like I have anything to say, no matter how badly i want to make conversation, i just can't bring myself to break the barrier. I realize this often makes me come off like a stuck up bitch (eek!) please know that is not the case, i just don't know what to say.
   
4.  Speaking of...when i was a baby i was so shy that i would only allow my mom, grandpa batts, and uncle kevin to hold me for an extended amount of time. notice this list doesn't include my dad, or my sister, or either of my grandmothers, i really hurt their feelings. i'm still particular about who i let hold me.
   
5. 97% of the time when i get off the phone with someone i make them say "good-bye" first. i've done this for as long as i can remember.
   
6.  i'm more attached to the townhouse i've lived in for the past 2 years than the house i grew up in and lived in for 15 years. i can't wait to move away for grad school but leaving my house makes me extremely sad.
   
7.  i've always wanted to own a coat rack or coat tree or whatever you want to call it but have never been able to find one.
   
8.  i have random urges to paint, not only small canvases but also entire rooms, in all different colors. putting a little paint on the walls can change everything.
   
9.  i have 6 people that i'm really close to. without them i am nothing. there are 2 in particular that i'm extremely close to and who also put up with my erratic emotional behavior. there's 1 person in particular that would drop anything for me, just as i would for them. this person makes life worth living, no matter who else comes in and out of it.
   
10.  i really, really, really like the word "fuck." trashy? yes. true? sadly.
    
11. sometimes i get in these moods where i can't make myself stop whatever i am doing: once i cleaned my house from 6pm until 10am the next day. once i crocheted for 11 hrs straight. i just can't make myself stop.
    
12. sometimes answering the phone and making calls at my job is frustrating. i work for a hearing center, where people buy hearing aids. most of the calls i make are to tell people (who clearly have hearing loss) that we have their hearing aids in. just think about it.
    
13.  i get a sickening amount of pleasure knowing that i will forever be the "good child" in my family, and there's nothing i could ever do to change that.
    
14.  i have a real fear of my mom dying. I've had this fear since my sophomore year. i think about it almost everyday. i want my mom to see my children, more than anything. she would be the best grandmother. my ultimate fear is that she won't get that chance
    
15.  i am the most tenderhearted person you will ever meet. i've always been this way. in conjunction with the fact that i'm a pleaser (meaning, i want to please everyone, and would do almost anything to make everyone happy) means that you are looking at the biggest emotional mess you will ever see.
    
16. my first cd was weezer's blue album. the cover was cracked when i got it from my sister, and still is. when i was 9 i used to listen to "undone-the sweater song" and "buddy holly" on repeat in my room, with the door closed, singing into an imaginary microphone and dancing in my hanson t-shirt. later, i found out she gave me this cd initially just so i would have something to drone out the sound of my parents fighting.

  i never knew they fought